This Fabric Is Tasty!

This one makes absolutely no sense to me: this being the perpetual licking of furniture. There is no possible way I could exaggerate the degree to which this both annoys and astounds me. I've heard from sources unknown that this rather bizarre trait is not uncommon to Jack Russells, but I have a hard time believing that the degree to which Skippy licks furniture and other choice textiles is inscribed in the history of the breed. Let me explain what's going on here for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about.

The dog, lying on her stomach with her paws in front of her, licks what ever surface she happens to be on. She licks continually, keeping the same rhythm, lick after lick until something either startles her, distracts her, or she is told stop. The latter scenario only causes her to pause momentarily while she begins one more lick, stopping at the mid-point, her tongue held in a sort of stasis, exposed, frozen in time, with its end glued to the newly soaked sofa. She then raises her eyes to follow the sound of the voice that just interrupted her. She is confused. She attempts to interpret the tones and intonations of the voice but she can't seem make meaning of it. She then concludes that the person speaking to her cannot possibly be telling her stop doing what she is doing, because clearly this is completely normal behaviour and besides, the wool tastes ever so good. Thus, after stopping mid-lick and staring blankly at me, she resolves that I am clearly the one who is insane and she continues to expand the diameter of the wet-spot between her paws.

This is definitely an odd sight to behold. At first this seemed to be merely a case of tongue-going-astray while she is licking her paw. That is an odd sight in and of itself; sort of akin to a thumb-sucking toddler. She begins with the paws, licking incessantly. Eventually her mind is unable to contend with the extraordinary focus required for this task and her tongue just sort of trails off and makes its way toward the fabric where she continues to lick, seemingly unaware that she is no longer licking herself. What's the deal here? I do not have the answer.

I stated above this was what I thought at first. Now I am convinced that this was just a ruse on her part for the sole purpose of  trying to maintain an excuse for this strange fabric fetish. It is as if she was saying, "licking paw seems pretty normal. If I do that for a bit no one will pay any attention to me. Then once they're convinced that I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary, I'm going to get to work on the couch and no one will be the wiser. See, they're totally falling for it. I'm so clever." But now, more often than not, she jumps right into the fabric, getting right to the end game.

I find this beviour absolutely odd and it only contributes to the eccentric nature of this beast. It is possibly the most mystifying of all of her behaviours. Can I get a witness on this one? What is up with my dog? There is no way this can be normal; even for a Jack Russell.

Words cannot really express how strange this is to me.